Andy Lien

Okay, okay.  So… I might metformin side effects hair loss need a support group.  I’ve got to ‘fess up to one of my favorite lewd online pastimes.  Not porn, not adult singles sites, not even the online personals so much anymore.

I love snooping into the backgrounds of your photos.  I am a Background Voyeur.  Seriously.  The little things that are not supposed to be the objects of the photograph are my curiosities.  Look around the internet.  Look at pictures.  See messy bathrooms beyond the cute kid in the foreground.  Once in the background, note what types of bathroom items will have to be hidden once the cute kid can read…but how you can read and you saw them.  Laugh to yourself and never mention it.  Ever.  Just post a blog about it.  Without mentioning names.  Without posting the pictures in question.  Just…leave people wondering.

Okay, no.  That is probably not a real scenario…so don’t go checking your own photos.  Or, if you do and find something that matches that description, thank me for not posting it.  Then send it to me.

I don’t blame you, the innocents…you don’t necessarily think about what will be considered “public” when you post it.  You’re thinking of the big lobster on your plate in the photo…or the beautiful bride…or the arm that was broken in Viva La Bam Style.  The unsuspecting friends are just that–you’re not suspecting that I’m monitoring the Neverlands of your pictures. But, I am.  And I am amused.  I’m putting together bits of your life.  I’m wondering why the hell you chose Tanqueray over Bombay.

And, it’s not just the unsuspecting friends who fall into my voyeuristic trap.  As I go around my blog roll which is a bit more public and a bit more risky, I see such interesting background objects.  I’ll give a great example that I just chanced upon…behind a large face shot, there is a bookshelf with what looks like a Russian textbook and…what?…a handsoap dispenser next to it; interesting juxtaposition.  This is where I wonder…where I construct the story, the decor, the life.  There could be a sink in the living room…or the book could be in the bathroom.  Since the photo doesn’t look to be taken in the bathroom, I guess the living room sink idea will have to stick.  Ah!  Guess what!  The photo blows up and it’s actually a book on Russian Fairy Tales with a dispenser of germ-eating hand sanitizer.  That makes much more sense than the sink idea.  Now, given the hand sanitizer in the living room, I’m left wondering if the abode even has a sink…and whether or not the fairy tales are written in Russian, or just of Russian lore.

That’s entertainment.

Even in my own last blog post, look at the first two pictures.  Scrolly scroll.  There’s a hefty lady banging her head on the counter in the background of the first one (sorry lady) and what looks like a guy peeing against the side of a building in a second one (shame on you).  Sure, those are more background castmembers than props, but you can see why it’s a kinda-fun hobby.  I could post picture-upon-picture of other peoples’ backgrounds, but I don’t legally have rights to do so.  Instead, I raked through my own and–though usually quite diligent (I stage most things)–I present a few innocuous gems here as a guide for you:

It's What's On TV: Look for metformin 1000 mg cost TVs in the background...and check what they're watching. It's usually not something as innocent as this.

Check bedroom scenes: A Facebook friend caught my background and commented how we have the same bedspread...while I was really going for Target product placement for the family business. Note that there are no undergarments or alcohol vessels, but look for them in other pics.

What other people are doing at the same time: While I was going for a great shot of a fellow bridesmaid, I caught a touching moment in the background. Aww...usually, people are caught sneering or groping.

The ellicit background shots: She's getting ready to shoot up. Find Benjamin Bratt STAT. Other people doing drugs, drinking excessively, or being passed out in photos comprises frequent background fodder (okay, I have wild friends).

Action shots of people not expecting to be in a photograph: Apparently, she doesn't like bagpipes. Obviously, I don't like her.

Covertly caught background photos that are great for Scene Reconstruction: Clever...he's slipping a birthday card into my bag while I was distracted by the cute pregnant lady.

Then there are those "Did I really just see that?" shots such as a Mini Biff at San Quentin. Not the object of the photo, but the object of my curiosity, after the fact.

Let me reiterate that mine are pretty tame.  Nothing is falling down off the walls, no bongs are in sight, and the porn is turned off for the ABC Family Channel on the television.  But, that’s just because I’m conscientious and very vain.  Remember?  I’d hate to look bad on national television…ahem, international internet.

Please don’t restrict my access to your photos.  I’m not judging you (except Bombay Sapphire is the superior gin just beneath Hendrick’s).  I’m enjoying getting to know more about you.  And, I thank you.

Now, you’re on your own.  Seek and ye shall find.  Then, tell me about it.