© 2009 Andy

The Cheeseball

Ever since metformin hcl 1000 mg I mentioned that I would post the recipe for my cheeseball, The Cheeseball, I’ve heard people say, “But I was going to take that with me to the grave.”  It’s true.  I have sworn people to secrecy after telling them the ingredients of The Cheeseball.  They are loyal.  They are true.

And now I will share it with you…without even hinting at a blood oath in return.

To the others, your blood oaths are transferable.  We’ll talk.

The Cheeseball (makes a LOAD of cheeseball material…this is not for a small party):

Ingredients
4 8 metformin 1000 mg dosage oz Bricks of Cream Cheese
2 Bunches Scallions (Green Onions), cleaned and sliced (slice all of the white portions and some of the green for color)
1/3 C Worcestershire Sauce (Lea & Perrins is the best, but not necessary)
1/2 C Pine Nuts, smashed (I’ve also used almonds…they’re good, too)
3-6 packs of Carl Buddig Corned Beef (3 for a bowl, 6 for a ball)

Let me explain some of the ingredients.

First, while I like my cream cheese, the recipe can be a little slimmed down by using the lower fat Neufchatel Cheese as pictured below.  I usually do half cream cheese and half Neufchatel.  I do not, however, EVER use the fat-free crap.  That stuff is scary.

Second, this brand of Worcestershire sauce has High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) in it.  If you know me personally, you know that I am rabidly against HFCS.  But, I also am a fan of the Best Flavor Possible (BFP), so I look past the HFCS for the BFP in this case.  (And in the case of Stove Top Stuffing.)  Someday, I may look into how I can get that little bit of spicy sweet to the mixture without the Lea & Perrins…but, until I do, we will suffer for our Cheeseball.

Third, Carl Buddig Corned Beef is the cheapest, processiest product in the meat section.  And that’s how people like it.  I’ve used expensive corned beef in this recipe…I’ve used dried beef in this recipe…people prefer the taste of the Carl Buddig Corned Beef.  So, that is what I will give them.

Lastly, I will confess only here that I don’t always make The Cheeseball into a ball.

Sometimes, I call it The Cheesebowl.

That is because I am lazy.  And, bowls travel better than balls.

You can quote me on that.

So, since the corned beef is used to coat the cheeseball, if you’re not going to make it into a ball, either, you don’t need as much corned beef.  That is why I give three packs for the bowl…and six for the ball.  You decide how dedicated you want to be to The Cheeseball.  Serve it like you mean it and nobody will be any the wiser.

  1. In a large bowl, unwrap the cheese and allow to soften for 30 minutes to an hour.  If you don’t, the world won’t come crashing down…it just won’t be as easy to mix.  Again, I’m lazy.  I’ll let it sit for three hours if it needs to.
  2. Smash the pine nuts in a bag, clean and slice the scallions/green onions, slice three packs of the corned beef, and throw all of it into the bowl with the cheese.
  3. Add the High Fructose Corn Syrup magic Worcestershire Sauce.
  4. Mix all of the ingredients together.  If you’re going to serve it in a bowl, find one now and use a spatula to move it to the serving bowl.  If you’re going to serve it as a ball, continue.
  5. As it is, it’s going to be a big-ass ball.  I usually split it in two and store half in a container in the fridge in case I need a back-up ball.  I take the other half and throw it in the fridge to harden for about a half an hour.  Or overnight if I forget about it.
  6. While the ball is hardening, cut up more of the corned beef for coating the outside of the ball.  If you’re not very talented at rolling  cheeseballs in processed meat, choose strips and lay the strips on the cheeseball.  If you’re a little more seasoned at cheeseball rolling, dice the corned beef, put the pieces on a plate, set the cheeseball in the pieces, and affix the remaining pieces to the sides of the ball before rolling it around.  Who am I kidding?  There’s no art to this.  Just try to get the meat to stick to the cheese.  That’s it.
  7. If you’ve got time before serving it or need to transport the cheeseball, wrap it tightly in clear plastic wrap and stow it in a plastic container (like a Tupperware) so it doesn’t get smushed in transit.  Smushed cheeseballs look pathetic, but can usually be reshaped.

That’s it.  The Cheeseball has now been passed on to you.  Use it wisely.  And, if asked for the recipe, demand a blood oath in return.  Your secret is safe with me.

10 Comments

  1. roogirlie
    Posted December 8, 2009 at 6:18 pm | #

    I *should be wishing I had a fabulous holiday party to attend so I could bring The Cheeseball. What I really wish is that I had the fixin’s in the fridge so I could whip it up and eat it the entire thing all by myself. drool…

  2. Posted December 8, 2009 at 9:55 pm | #

    Yummo. I’m even going to post this on my wall, if that’s okay. We gotta share the goodness.

    • Andy Lien
      Posted December 9, 2009 at 1:07 pm | #

      Please share. Thank you!

  3. Posted December 9, 2009 at 1:12 am | #

    I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU GAVE IT UP. *gasp* But there’s no going back!

    • Andy Lien
      Posted December 9, 2009 at 1:19 am | #

      I know; I think a small part of me died today.

  4. Posted December 9, 2009 at 1:13 am | #

    Have you ever thought about toasting the pine nuts? Or would that be bad, I wonder?

    • Andy Lien
      Posted December 9, 2009 at 1:20 am | #

      Yes! I not only thought it, but did it. What I can say is that you’ve got to watch those little buggers…that they don’t burn. It’s expensive to have to scrap the lot.

      (I really don’t know how they would’ve tasted toasted…I didn’t try it again. Good call.)

  5. Carson
    Posted December 9, 2009 at 1:02 pm | #

    I love your perfect cheeseball plate, where do you find such a thing!

    • Andy Lien
      Posted December 9, 2009 at 1:06 pm | #

      Years. It took years, but I found it. When my sister-in-law was working for General Mills, there was a sort of “garage sale” of stuff that usually went into the Betty Crocker Points catalog. As I was snatching up cheap designer tablecloths and placemats, I saw this beauty…it was like the Holy Grail. The heavens opened and the choir of angels sang, “Wahhhh…”

  6. Shirls
    Posted December 10, 2009 at 8:58 pm | #

    I <3 it Andy!! I can't wait to try it,may have to be for Jed's b-day or WAIT–the Nyman family Christmas this year is on Christmas day and that means…appetizer's!! PERFECT! I know what I'm bringing! Thanks for sharing! Can't wait :)

    I just love how you document, play-by-play each shot and how you set it up. LOVE IT!

    And I also enjoyed the story behind the 'perfect' cheeseball plate :) Gotta love it! I have a wine bottle that was melted down into a plate kind of thing, it may work well for this. My mom has always made a good cheese ball but nothing quite like this, we'll knock her socks off! (I'm only know for my ham/pickle roll ups!)

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