From the Editor: At Last

At last.

At last, the people of Minnesota can marry the loves of their lives, gay or straight. Whether sung by Billie Holliday or written on the cover of this magazine, the sentiment is an acknowledgement to an end of an era and the beginning of a new one. For this community regarding this issue of marriage equality, all of the metaphorical “lonely nights” are over in Minnesota’s history, “…and life is like a song.”

Sure, in each of our lives, life might not be so song-worthy; plenty of us are looking for our loves, some of us are leaving our loves, and some of us have no interest in love…but at least there is the legal option for recognizing love.

In these pages, you’ll find people who are, at last, married. For the first time, or the second. Is it remarrying to get married a second time? Supermarried? Legally married? Civilly married? So many different terms to cover relationships that had to improvise and come up with their own versions of commitment. At last, there is one term and one frame of reference for all who want those rights and that recognition for their commitments. At long last.

At last we have a Wedding Issue that history has caught up with; after three previous comprehensive Wedding Issues, this is the first to be just as legitimate as same-sex marriage in Minnesota. We’re celebrating three months of marriage, since August 1, and Minnesotans are living proof that same-sex marriage doesn’t lead to the downfall of humanity. Since Minnesotans started marrying, New Jersey has joined the ranks of giving rights to same-sex couples who wish to wed and Oregon has declared that its citizens’ federal rights will be upheld if they were married in a state that allows same-sex marriage (even though Oregon hasn’t legalized it, yet). The Supreme Court of the United States’ decisions to give Californians back the freedom to marry and to strike down the Defense of Marriage Act’s Section 3 are making many people reconsider both their official and personal positions on same-sex marriage. The tide is turning, but in bits and pieces.

I was in Philadelphia a few weeks ago for Outfest with other members of the media that feature the rainbow community. Being able to talk to peers who are not only in my industry, but also in my niche, was priceless. Each publication represented was from a different region of the United States; but only two of us out of five are from states that have marriage equality and nondiscrimination laws for employment. Some of the states are looking toward having a ballot vote involving marriage equality sooner or later, others might be looking to legislators to do like Minnesota did. Perhaps a few might have some courts who are hearing cases about same-sex marriage. I took a step back and noticed that my talks with them about Minnesota’s fight for marriage equality were in the past tense. It’s been a matter of months, but I sounded like a seasoned veteran of marriage equality. A seasoned veteran of three months.

I’ve noticed that I slip into that “life is wonderful, we’re awesome” way of referring to the freedom to marry, too, when I talk to friends and family from states that have yet to recognize and implement equal rights for the GLBT community. I’ll be talking to a friend in Wisconsin as if they’ve got the same rights that we do in Minnesota just to be gently reminded that, “Andy, we don’t have marriage here.” With those words, the wind is sucked from my sails and I see again just how much work is left to be done.

Walking around Philly’s Outfest that Sunday afternoon, I reveled in the fact that Philadelphia has its own officially named “Gayborhood.” Blocks and blocks of the City of Brotherly Love are given this credibility and notoriety. In addition to this geographic area and concentration of bars, eateries, and community resources, there’s a historic marker near Independence Hall indicating that significant gay rights demonstrations began in Philly and predated the Stonewall activities in New York City. Philadelphia is steeped in freedom and rights, both old and new. You could feel it in the cobblestone.

And then I realized that I hadn’t seen one indication that the GLBT community in Pennsylvania was doing anything about marriage equality. Coming from Minnesota and a couple of years of active campaigning against the marriage amendment and for marriage equality, I had to do a double-take. At our events, we couldn’t help but see something about marriage every way we turned. If you dropped a person into Loring Park during Pride (or any of the other Pride celebrations across the state), that person would know exactly what was happening in terms of marriage equality in a matter of ten minutes time.

Not in Philly. I saw no organized marriage equality effort at Outfest. I was shocked. I did not feel hope, I did not feel like “life is wonderful, we’re awesome.” I did not feel like the community was equal with the straight community, despite the Gayborhood and freedom fighters of yore.

Not to draw too judgmental of a conclusion, but Minnesota has marriage equality and Pennsylvania does not. We know how much time, money, talking, signage, and effort it took to achieve marriage equality.  How will it happen across the country?

Perhaps we should sit down and have a couple conversations with the folks in Philly.

Congratulations, everyone. Revel in our own history here in Minnesota. We may not have cobblestones, but we have conversations. And they build and build.

With gratitude and love,
Andy

From the Editor: The Halloween Issue

Nightmare Dream Team: Brett Dorrian, Andy Lien, and Morgan Ross
Nightmare Dream Team: Brett Dorrian, Andy Lien, and Morgan Ross. Photo by Mike Hnida

This Halloween Issue is something that has been in the making for two years. When I started this position as Managing Editor, the learning curve was steep (and still is, in many ways). What I learned early on when we had a photo shoot with a drag queen and some sailors from HMS Pinafore at the Guthrie is that if I could think it up and make it happen, it would happen. How many of us get to say that? Holy cow, I’m lucky. It took the two years since to figure out how to make it happen, which is something that comes with experience of the industry and knowledge of the people. Then, the timing. The timing was crucial because, at this time last year, the editorial calendar was made almost secondary to the election coverage and the campaign against the marriage amendment. That’s when I tried to pull most coverage to the conservative for the good of the community. Nobody needed to spook the straights, particularly when they were going to be voting on the rights of this community.

Now that marriage equality is a reality, I’m not going to say that it’s time to just let our freak flags fly, but, okay, yes I am. And, by saying freak flag, I don’t mean it as a negative. I mean that it’s time to not let this community’s sense of expression be curtailed by double standards, holding the people of this community hostage and closeted from even just dressing for Halloween in any way, shape, or form we might choose. As Brett Dorrian says later in her Halloween How-To feature, the sky is the limit. Let’s go there.

So we did. Because we can.

Every two weeks when I plan content for this magazine, I keep in mind that Lavender can do a great many things that other publications can’t; so we should. Because the point of this publication is to embrace all colors of the rainbow, the “rules” are up to us. Genders can be more fluid, depictions of characters can be more open to interpretation. So, we cracked the world of Halloween costumes open and took advantage of this position of privilege. Don Draper with spirit gum stubble? Got it. Really gorgeous “real housewives” played by gay softball players in drag? They’re in here. Superheros are played by the drag, trans, and queer kings and performers. Other queer and allied burlesque performers actually put on clothes–rather than suggestively taking them off–for this piece, something which asked them to be fluid, but in a different way than usual. The same goes for Mrs. Smith who, usually looking for her cat Carlyle with a big Gibson Girl wig on her head, actually appears via her actor’s original gender, as Sherlock Holmes. We asked these performers to step outside of their usual chosen performance comfort zones and do what the rest of us will be doing: assume different roles for the most fun holiday of the year.

Once I’d made the shift in my head that this year was the year to really stake our claim on Halloween and go for the proverbial gold, it was all a matter of making the plans and putting them into action. This is where the aforementioned experience and knowledge was critical to the success of the project. How would we pull off multiple shoots with multiple models and multiple teams in about a month of time?

Talking to Morgan Ross, who’s one of our newest Lavender team members, the plans started taking shape for exactly what this Halloween issue could be. Morgan and I started bandying around ideas and mentioning names and groups of people who could be asked to participate. It was a matter of which was the cart and which was the horse–do we start with the models and then determine which themes to depict and how to go about depicting them, or the other way around? This was when we called in Brett Dorrian for a consultation.

Brett is a makeup artist who worked with us in last fall’s Wedding Issue which was on stands pretty much a year ago, when we were voting against the marriage amendment (Brett! It’s our anniversary!). I knew from talking to her then that she could not only make brides and grooms look picture-perfect for their big days, but that she was also the makeup and special effects person behind The Soap Factory’s blockbuster haunted basement in recent years. So, naturally, when it came time to think of who could assist us with pulling off a Halloween costume and makeup how-to, nobody else came to mind but Brett. In a matter of an hour-long meeting with Morgan and Brett, we concepted a list of themes and possible participants and costumers, with the lofty goal of getting it all done within a few weeks’ time. What seemed like a farfetched dream was met with Brett’s assessment: “I can do it. All.” And we never looked back.

Each of us started reaching out to people who are both ridiculously talented as well as interested in publicity. And the response was tremendous. We had yeses every which way we turned. The circle of talent expanded and soon we had all the pieces put into place and ready to go.

A term from my corporate past is the “multiplication of talents,” which pretty much means that we find what people are good at and let them do their things. The same applies to this situation; once the pros were called in and given their directions, they showed up with their newly acquired zombie outfits and sheriff or trucker hats and thrift-store sourced items to become the roles that they were assigned. The multiplication of talents: find the pros and let them do exactly what they’re hard-wired to do–creative problem-solving and artistic expression. Some of them were asked to simply show up as blank canvases, others were asked to bring their whole Halloween concept to the shoots. And they all did so, perfectly.

As I look at the images, I don’t see the performers or community members, I see who the performers are portraying. Blowtorch is Prince Charming, Tea is Snow White. Bart is Andrea, Mistress Victoria is Lafayette, Karri is Alcide. The piece de resistance is that a shape-shifting character that usually goes from being a man to being a dog is depicted by a pup from the kink community. There are layers to the meanings within each theme and who is playing which role. This is a testament to both the ability of our publication to think outside the box as well as the willingness of our community’s people and performers to actually go there.

Take this issue and apply it to our regular lives, too. Sure, Halloween is a time when everyone who participates in it–from young to old–gets to step outside of our normal and express ourselves in a playful way. But, see what it means for our daily lives, too. See that finding that freedom to be comfortable in someone else’s skin or life for a night or a party is something we can do more often and regularly. Karri, one of the participants in this feature, once mentioned to me last year that it’ll be important for this community to not forget how diverse we are–but how hard we worked together against the marriage amendment and for marriage equality–when we’re no longer actively campaigning together. The person fighting next to us against that discrimination might be into leather or kink (or whatever…perhaps drag or adopting children or going to the seminary) and that’s part of what we’re fighting for: the ability to be free to express ourselves however we choose. I keep that conversation in mind as I progress through the editorial calendar and am extremely grateful to be able to make that notion more clear in this issue. However the members of this community choose to express themselves is acceptable and valid, whether it’s Halloween or a generic Tuesday.

Whether you decide to celebrate Halloween by dressing up in costume or makeup or not, I wish you a very happy holiday. It’s a time when the world gets to step into a bit of whimsy…somewhere I wish we’d visit more often.

I hope you have as much fun as we did.

With thanks,
Andy

P.S. Here’s a little soundtrack for you:

Slice: Wisconsin’s Pizza Harvest

Fall food made with just-harvested vegetables on a farm is a delicacy. Though there are now a number of “pizza farms” near the Twin Cities that serve pizza made in outdoor ovens throughout the summer and into fall, I always choose to wait until fall to go to what I consider to be the original, AtoZ Produce and Bakery, just across the border in Wisconsin. I could just give curt instructions for getting your grub: Check the menu, place your order, watch for your number to be flipped to, and wait a matter of five minutes for your piping-hot pizza to be sliced and handed to you as you pay your bill. Find a place to eat and take your garbage with you. I’m a bit too wordy for that, though. Through the years, I’ve gathered a few more tips to share for making your own trip to the place where pizza grows in country idyll.

Leave Early and Know How to Get There. AtoZ Produce and Bakery (aka, the “Pizza Farm”) is closest to Stockholm, Wisconsin. Every Tuesday they make pizzas from 4:30 to 8:00 at night which means that people can leave their 9-to-5 job, travel through rush hour traffic, and make it to the farm in time for pizza, but I’ve done it and I wouldn’t recommend it. If possible, leave a couple hours early and give yourself time to get through the East Metro with as little frazzle as possible. Depending upon your start point, the trip could take an hour or two. I usually take I-94 East through St. Paul to US-61 South, and the cross over to Wisconsin on US-10 East. Then, once across the river in Prescott, Wisconsin, I immediately turn right onto WI-35 South, the Great River Road. Follow that famous road all the way to Stockholm and take in the scenery. Once you’re in Stockholm, it’s a good idea to either use a GPS or printed directions to the address of AtoZ Produce and Bakery. Those methods have never let me down and always bring me directly to the country road with the Liberal Catholic Church on it, which signifies that I’ll be seeing the Pizza Farm next.

Pre-Order Your Pie and Plan for Ambling. Stockholm, the town closest to the Pizza Farm, is located on the Great River Road of Wisconsin. Low in population but high in charm, Stockholm has a variety shops and welcomes the GLBT community with open arms. I always visit the art and home gallery, Abode Stockholm, and get some coffee (while my friends pick and choose their beer) at Stockholm General, owned and operated by Alan Nugent and Steve Grams. Ingebretsen’s has a charming store in a historic building and I also swoon over kitchen wares at The Palate. We called ahead to the Stockholm Pie Company and ordered two pies to pick up on our way to the Pizza Farm, a chocolate cream and a apple-berry cardamom crumble pie. You won’t regret incorporating that step into your trip. Then, since the stores close around 5:00 but we didn’t want to get to the farm until later, we went up the hill to Maiden Rock Winery and Cidery for apples, wine, and cheese. Find more information at www.stockholmwisconsin.com.

Pack as Much Ambience as You Want and Pick Where You Want It. You’re going to have dinner on a farm. Some people choose to do it picnic-style and bring blankets to sit on with paper plates and plastic utensils, which is a fine way to enjoy your pizza supper. I’ve seen people bring a dîner en blanc with them, wearing all-white clothing and dressing their table and chairs in white linen, all of which paint a romantic picture against the country setting in the twilight hours. We had a little drizzle this last time I was there, so we went directly to the one building with chairs and tables, The Coop, and found two tables that could be pushed together to accommodate our nine-person party and, though we weren’t out under the stars, we very much enjoyed our dining experience in the warmly lit coop. These fall nights when the sun goes down early call for lighting, so bring your own flashlight or candles. Do not do as I did and carefully prepare and bring a centerpiece of mason jars with lovely green candles in them that were scented–nobody wants spiced pear competing with their pizza fragrances.

Appreciate the Process and the Product. This is a working farm with real animals and crops. Care is taken to provide an attractive and environmentally friendly gathering place with well-kept buildings and a composting restroom. The beauty and draw of the Pizza Farm is the fact that we’re eating pizza on a farm with food that was grown there and baked in an oven right before our eyes. Something I just learned this last time I was there is that to get the oven hot enough for baking our pizzas with speed and efficiency on Tuesday nights, it’s lit on Sunday. And on these chilly fall nights, it’s nice to hover by that fire watching the pizzas emerge, bubbly and hot, aromatic and crisp.

Order a Variety of Pizza and Watch the Magic Happen. When you approach the buildings on the Pizza Farm, the one with the oven is where you should aim. Just this year, to comply with Wisconsin laws, the Pizza Farm no longer allows people to carry in their own alcoholic beverages, but you can buy beer and wine in the same building as the pizza oven; enjoy the local favorites at reasonable prices. There’s a large chalkboard with that night’s menu on it and, though the pizzas run a little high in price, they are of great quality and flavor. The pizzas are the destination, so plan to savor them. Instead of a tomato sauce, sliced tomatoes are incorporated with the toppings and then roasted atop the pizzas as they bake in the hot ovens. These are not your cheese-monster gooey slices of pie as found in traditional pizzerias, but are artisan-style in their carefully chosen combinations of flavors. My favorite version of all time incorporated slab bacon, but all of the varieties have proven to be popular with the pizza eaters in my parties through the years. Squash, beets, lamb, pesto, olives–all sorts of flavors can be found at the Pizza Farm. Order a number of pies and share liberally. Our party of nine had three pizzas this year…but a party of four scarfed four a few years ago. It all depends on what else you bring for side dishes and how ravenous rush hour or shopping have made you.

Follow the Rules. No pets. Bring cash or check, no plastic. Don’t touch the electric fences, consider all fences to be electric. Park where the signs indicate. It’s an operating farm, not a petting zoo. Don’t go tromping through crops, stay on mowed paths. Mind your children and your unruly friends. And, most importantly…

Pack It In, Pack It Out. Bring a bag for garbage or recycling because everything you bring that has packaging has to leave with you, as well as your new pizza boxes that your meal comes in and the bottles of beer or wine that you buy. We split up the garbage and recycling between the people in our party and each took some of the waste home to continue our Pizza Farm experience by being environmentally responsible.

Mostly, Eat Slowly and Breathe Deeply. You’re away from the city and rush hour and obligations. Put the smartphone down (or Instagram everything like I do), just make sure you relax as you’re doing it. It’s a sensory experience, so use your senses and actually experience the farm as a last hurrah before the snow flies.

AtoZ Produce and Bakery (the “Pizza Farm”)
Tuesdays, early Spring – Thanksgiving
4:30-8:00pm
N2956 Anker Ln.
Stockholm, WI  54769
www.atozproduceandbakery.com

 

 

From the Editor: Lessons Learned from Leaders

This might be my favorite issue of each year. It’s a bit like sending out presents by email when I notify people that they have been chosen by readers to receive awards. There are stages to it: disbelief, happiness, pride, tears…someone even tried to talk me out of one. The nominations don’t lie. They come from you and you write them with both heart and logic. I learn so much from the nominations–there are so many people out there that need some spotlight. And, there are so many causes out there that require attention. This community is diverse and active and we need to keep showing as much of it to you as we can.

In a conversation with one of the recipients, I read the nomination over the phone and found myself with tears in my eyes and goosebumps on my arms. What people do in this community matters. What people do for each other–with no expectation of recognition or recompense–matters. This community matters.

When I read the stories of these people and their organizations, it became more clear why there is such a thing as Lavender. There are reasons for this community to have its space, its conversations, its spotlight and attention, just as there are reasons for corporations to have GLBT employee groups, for organizations to have missions that benefit this community, and for people to volunteer and give and grow. The reasons are many, but my own experience boils the reasons down to learning and teaching.

How do we learn and teach? By telling. By writing. By being out there. By being seen. By having conversations. We know this. But, we need to have conversations with ourselves. Learning how we are similar and how we are different is part of how this community can become less splintered and more empathetic from within. Much of our efforts were focused outward these past few years with having conversations with the straight community about why the gays and lesbians of the whole rainbow community should be allowed equal marriage rights. We took the time to show and tell people who aren’t familiar with the community about why love matters, how rights affect everyone, and that this community always has been–and always will be–a real group of people that fits into the larger society.

Have you noticed how we can benefit from talking to each other about ourselves, too? Having a greater understanding means having a greater ability to help more people and to advance more of this community together.

Many of the award recipients participated in the past year’s fight against the marriage amendment as well as the campaign for marriage equality. But that’s not all. These people are involved in numerous issues all at once. Some have been working for years and years to help those with HIV and AIDS. People work toward inclusion and against inequality. Youth homelessness and strengthening families matter. The environment and working between different cultures are key to our collective survival. Being family for each other and being around to socialize or “just talk” is crucial to the well-being of many. Figuring out how to not make our aging community members go back into the closet as they get older is important for all of us. Shattering stereotypes and opening doors. Being trailblazers and using power for good and not evil. Fighting for our country, fighting for our rights. Creating space for ambiguity while also defining space for each other. Being ambassadors and bridging gaps between this community and the cities, the state, the nation, the world.

Look to these people and see what I see: role models.

Similarities. Differences. Progress.

Together.

With thanks,
Andy