Category: Lavender “From the Editor” Columns

Happy Pride Weekend! The month-long celebration of Pride in the Twin Cities is hitting its peak this weekend. I can’t wait to get out there and see everyone at one of the many events listed in this issue. Though there are many reasons for tension in our lives in recent days and months considering the horror in Charleston, the open discussions regarding Caitlyn Jenner and transgender persons, and the decision from the Supreme Court of the United States regarding marriage in the bounds, we can also come together and celebrate what is good. Together, we can. Together, we must.

I always have a long-lasting afterglow following each of our Pride issues. Because the Pride issue is what our magazine would look like if advertisers chose to be in the magazine all year ‘round, we get to include pretty much all of the editorial topics in one publication. Sure, there is special Pride-specific content, but most of it is what we already include…just more of it and all in one place. With more coverage comes more of the diversity that is within the community.

One of the areas of diversity in this community that is less often seen is the senior contingency. As people get older, they are less visible. Whether it’s because of retirement, or lack of ease in travel, or simply wanting to stay put, the demographic group of seniors tends to fade away. We’re trying to buck that trend in these Senior Living issues and pull people more to the fore.

I sometimes get guff for asking people if they’d like to be a part of one of our senior issues…because, guess what, people don’t necessarily like to be considered elderly. Big shock there. Again, mea culpa. Now that the National Senior Games lists “senior” as being 50+, I’m not going to be nearly as sheepish about it. Wear your years proudly. You deserve to. And, when I see articles about who else is joining the 50+ club this year, your company includes the Hollywood Brat Pack members like Sarah Jessica Parker, Charlie Sheen, and Robert Downey Jr. Fifty is not old. Fifty is still mid-stride. Some of the people in that Brat Pack crowd lived a hard life for a while there and I wouldn’t have guessed that they would make it to 50; considering that they could have another almost-half life left on this earth, it’s mind-boggling.

What’s also mind-boggling is how I often hear that a gay man’s life is over at 30. That is complete bullshit and we all know it. What we need to embrace are the renaissances of our lives. We will be reborn a number of times. Add a person. Subtract a person. Change careers. Join a club. Start working out. See faraway lands. Get a pet. Sell your car. Start protesting. Run for office. Play sports again.

The 2015 National Senior Games are in town this July. If that isn’t one big advertisement for life after 50, I don’t know what is. In the piece about the Games later in the issue, Jan Furuli talks about how she was slowing down and that was unacceptable to her, so she stopped it. She started playing sports again and improved her quality of life in a number of ways. Also proof of life after 50 is Lily Tomlin. Lily’s in town. She’s on our cover. She’ll be on stage at Orchestra Hall. She’s proof that it gets better. No, we can’t all be Lily Tomlin, but we can look to her as an example of what life can look like as we age past 50. A recent marriage, a hit show, and more on the horizon, Lily is in a renaissance with her humor intact and I am so grateful for it.

When I think of what my future will be like, I hope it’s more like Lily’s or Jan’s lives. I want to get up every morning with a role and a reason, I want to be engaged and working. I don’t want to fear how everything in my life might change as I get older. Reading about “How Can I Afford Senior Living?” later in this issue was eye-opening for me. As someone who is single and aging out of the time when I might have my own kids, my future might only involve myself. I’m not unique; there are many of us who might be hoping that our nieces and nephews don’t forget us as we move into senior communities in 20–30 years. It is a less-frightening prospect the more we know. But, before then, to walk that path with our parents will be eye-opening as well. Though mine came home one day with an announcement that should’ve had a big bow on it (“We now have long-term care insurance! You’re welcome!”), there will be much to learn in the years ahead. Our parents never stop teaching us; if we’re fortunate to still have them in our lives, it’s up to us to take notice.

It’s also up to us to be there for each other. My age group is moving from the time when we lose our grandparents to the time when we lose our parents. Then, we’ll lose each other. The more diverse in age my friends are, the more life and loss there is for me to experience with them. Life and loss…and love. Never forget the love.

With you, with thanks, and with love,

Andy

Happy Pride! It’s the time of year when we come out in technicolor and celebrate what makes this community so special and unique: the people, the activities, the causes, the relationships, the history, the hearts. As is obvious on our cover with some of The Ladies of the Lakes, we’re showing off colors and characters, too. In fact, the lovely dame in blue, Girtha Rotunda, referred to the Sisters in the article on page 170 as “giant acid trip clown nuns” who raise money and entertain people, which made me laugh heartily. As the Twin Cities’ local chapter of The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, The Ladies of the Lakes are seen at events that range from family-friendly to adult-only, raising money for different needs and causes in the community. What’s not to celebrate about that?

Okay, I need to come clean here. I owe clowns a cosmic apology. My lack of fandom is so well-known that people taunt me with clowns on a near-daily basis. It’s not personal (well, the taunting might be); it’s that I don’t sit well with not being able to see behind the makeup and costumes. I want to deal with people, not personas.

Except aren’t clowns the most obvious in their disguises amongst all the people who are disguising themselves? Aren’t they the most open in their illusions? Credible, even? “What you see is what you get” is rarely the case in this world as we all have multiple facets to our personalities, so why target a segment of performers for trying to make the world better by putting forth a facet that is happy and joyous and might leave a smear of makeup somewhere when we hug?

During our photo shoot at Betty Danger’s Country Club, the Sisters and their Guard were gracious and kind personalities, spreading goodwill. People smiled when they saw them and asked to take pictures with the colorful characters. Girtha Rotunda and I got to chat and laugh with some lovely ladies who read Lavender and were celebrating a birthday that day. With exquisitely painted faces and in various textures and designs of headwear, corsets, dresses, and heels, the crew golfed, posed, and rode the Danger. At a quiet moment, Hilda Clymb very earnestly looked me in the eyes and discussed with me how the community can’t become complacent in our work against discrimination and HIV/AIDS. It’s clearly not all fun and games for this crew. And, though I may not know the legal names of the people I’m talking to, the names they present as The Ladies of the Lakes are valid and honor the people they become when they don the makeup and garb of The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. That afternoon became one of the more memorable ones in recent history for me, considering that my already-open mind just got split apart by some nuns. Is this clowning actually duplicity? No. I simply need to look at authenticity through a different lens.

Mea culpa, clowns.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my four years in this job it’s that authenticity takes many forms. No matter what facet of our personality we choose to present at any given time, it is still a part of us, something of what makes up our authentic selves. Some of us have quite a ways to go until we feel comfortable in our own skin, maybe to come out of the closet or realize that our gender identity may be more fluid than we knew. Or, we want to change something in our lives that isn’t working for us or volunteer to help others or speak more openly about things that bother us. It’s all a journey and we can’t discount wherever we are on it. Please, look to the many examples in the pages of this Pride Issue and see how others have progressed toward authenticity, through support groups, spirituality, art, sports, music, makeup, activism, recovery, volunteering, and loving. As different as each person is, so is each person’s path.

With you, with authenticity, and with Pride,
Andy
(aka Sister Mea Culpa?)

I’m not a huge fan of math, but when I was talking about drag queens the other day, I pulled out the issue that had our dear Wanda Wisdom on the cover with some sailors from the Guthrie’s H.M.S. Pinafore production. That was my first full issue in 2011: #422, 100 issues ago. That’s more than 100 different editorial topics, 100 attractive covers, and 100 opportunities to shine a light on what this community is doing here in Minnesota and beyond. When I start looking at numbers, it becomes a slippery slope and I actually get a little giddy about them.

Throughout the publication of these 100 issues, 7,925 website stories have been published on www.LavenderMagazine.com. If we were to put those stories into hard copy, that would be well more than double what we can give you in the magazine, itself. Big Gay News gives us pertinent headlines daily, arts pieces and sports stories are added, photo galleries of you at various rainbow events are showcased on a frequent and regular basis. The last 100 issues also coincide with the rise of the tablets and electronic publishing; Lavender Magazine was the first GLBT publication to be available electronically. Currently, there are 15,267 Newsstand subscriptions via iTunes, which means that many of our readers get Lavender handily delivered for free every two weeks to their iPads or iPhones. Look it up and join the crowd.

This issue shows off what’s available to us this summer in both Minneapolis and St. Paul as well as the surrounding suburbs. I grew up in the country, but my mother was raised in East St. Paul and my parents met at the University of Minnesota, so we were always coming to the Cities. Living in the country meant we had to travel to anything, whether it was a restaurant or a movie theater, a grocery store or our church. It also means that I don’t blink when I need to be across the metro area from one event to the next. Whether it be my Jeep or the light rail, I am ready to roll and see what these many Cities have in store for me. I hope you get out there yourself this summer. Go to one of the 229 events on our online calendar right now. Find our nearly 700 distribution locations where you can pick up a hard copy of Lavender. Join us at one of the summer First Thursdays.

Okay, I’ll stop with the numbers…after this: thank you for being one of the wonderful reasons I get to look back on 100 issues with such pride and joy.

I’ll see you out there.

With thanks,
Andy

I was walking through St. Anthony Park the other night, after the stores had closed. I love the little neighborhood, close to where I live in St. Paul, with little shops and attractive buildings. It’s bustling and beautiful during the day, peaceful and quiet at night. Something caught my eye as my friend and I approached Peapods, the natural toy and baby care store: an iconic HRC sticker was on their front window. A little beacon of welcome. A clear indication that this community is welcome there.

Above and beyond the actual proposed legislation, what’s bothered me so much about the Religious Freedom Restoration Acts (RFRAs) that have been trying to make headway across the nation is that I’m second-guessing our business climate more than ever. Before marriage equality in Minnesota, I was pleased when businesses showed their allegiance to the community, because it was more of the exception than the rule (depending on the business and if it had to adhere to the civil rights laws). Now that marriage equality is the rule, each business that wants to be an exception is such a scary disappointment.

That a pizza parlor owner thinks that refusing to cater a gay wedding is actually going to affect same-sex weddings in the future isn’t the point, it’s that a business owner wants to turn away gay customers. We know this is a problem. We’ve been talking about how separate is not equal for years and years. Other proposed legislation could affect people who need medical attention and be refused it, if the provider ignores the idea to “first do no harm” for their own religious convictions as being against homosexuality. In a chilling development, as also mentioned by E.B. Boatner, there is a proposed “Sodomite Suppression Act” to kill the gay men (or, I suppose, anyone who engages in sodomy) in California. That these thoughts exist is no surprise and is always worrisome. That they have some traction is what is so terrifying.

When I’m terrified, I want to circle the wagons. I want to gather people near to me who I can protect and who can protect me and mine. I want to work with people who clearly support the community. I encourage and promote outward displays of welcome, whether they be gender-neutral bathrooms or the fleet of vehicles out there that still has “VOTE NO” or “I Support the Freedom to Marry” or “Love is the Law” bumper stickers on them. Now, perhaps even more than before marriage equality in Minnesota, I find it necessary to suss out how welcoming a company might be to this community. And, even if it’s said that a company is welcoming, it’s important that they truly walk the walk, not just talk the talk.

As marriage equality might go national and transgender issues are coming more to the fore, it is important to keep the conversations going, to continue pushing forward how necessary it is that business owners relate to this community. It’s not just about the wedding industry, but it’s also about making sure that gay couples don’t get kicked out of their vacation rental homes as happened recently in Texas. In a more proactive tone and relevant to this Home & Garden Issue, it’s about making sure that the companies you hire to build your home, to design your yard, to clear your garage, to move your belongings, and to decorate your family’s bedrooms not only see you as equals, but that their staffs treat you as treasured clients.

Now is the time when we start working on quality control in our business dealings. Work with businesses that want to work with us, while also encouraging businesses make clear their inclusion of this community. Look in Lavender’s pages and on the website for advertisers who want you to know who they are so you can work with them. Join or consult Quorum as the community’s Chamber of Commerce for your business needs. Make note of the businesses that march in the Pride Parade. Look on the windows of stores as you walk through your neighborhood for equality stickers. There are beacons of welcome all around us. Let them walk the walk for you.

With you and with thanks,
Andy

Earlier in my career, I was director of development for an organization that raised funds for orphanages. I learned a great many things, not the least of which is that face-to-face marketing is the most effective form of fundraising. When our donors met other donors and heard their stories of being involved with our organization, connections were made and hearts (and wallets) were opened. When our donors met the kids they were supporting, there opened the floodgates. People matter, stories matter, experiences matter.

So it happens with the fundraiser, Dining Out for Life, that is held across the country each year, raising funds for organizations that provide support services for people who are living with HIV/AIDS. Here in the Twin Cities, Dining Out for Life raises funds for The Aliveness Project in Minneapolis. And, from my stance as a fundraiser in a former life, it’s a dream event with multiple points of face-to-face marketing, education, branding, and impact.

How it works is that restaurants in the area sign up to participate in the Dining Out for Life event, agreeing to donate a certain percentage of the night’s dollars to the organization. So, the diners will advertently or inadvertently be giving money simply by dining out that night. Then, there are also Ambassadors at each participating restaurant who are there to answer questions, represent The Aliveness Project, and ask for additional funds.

Many volunteers participate at every level. There are so many wonderful fundraisers out there — like galas, dinners, bake sales, cookie sales, rides, walks, and online campaigns with incentives. Each of those involve some form of communicating, but this night out at restaurants includes a large number of people — restaurateurs, chefs, front-of-house staff, and volunteers for The Aliveness Project — acting as ambassadors, communicating in-person, with the very real interaction of educating people who aren’t familiar with the event, the organization, or the topic, as well as asking them for funds, formally and informally.

In past years, I’ve lauded the restaurants for doing some “heavy lifting” in terms of donations, but this year, I’d like to laud the Ambassadors. They are the people who are in each DOL location, whether for breakfast, lunch, or dinner (or multiple times and places) who interface with the guests at each restaurant. They bridge the spaces between the restaurant and the organization, as well as between the donors and the organization, and they do it beautifully.

There are restaurants where it seems like a big party and the Ambassador is there to funnel the goodwill and funds: everyone knows what night it is, everyone knows about Dining Out for Life and where the money goes, and everyone is digging deep and giving money to do more good. Then there are restaurants where the ambassador is in a location that is new to the event and there is a learning curve when talking to diners who are new to raising funds for an AIDS/HIV organization during their meal and may require education or might even give a little pushback to the whole situation. Having been an Ambassador for four or five years before I started this job, I experienced all sorts of scenarios, and each year left me feeling ultimately tired and happy for the challenge the fundraiser presented. I salute the Ambassadors for being out there, trying to field whatever comes their way, with a smile and a hope that the whole town is painted red by people who “Dine Out, Fight AIDS.”

With thanks (and wearing my “I ATE” sticker),
Andy

I recently attended a weekend-long conference in Philadelphia for journalists from regional publications and blogs that cover the rainbow community, organized by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association. This convening had as its theme “What Next?” as the prospect of nationwide marriage equality looms with the Supreme Court of the United States addressing it in late April. We listened a lot, discussed much, disagreed some, and left as better professionals who work for and with this community. While there wasn’t a formal vote at the end of it, I’m pretty sure the assembled journalists agreed that we’re not at “What’s Next?” yet.

Can there be a post-marriage-equality culture for the rainbow community when Indiana signs a Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) into law? Such “religious freedom” legislation looks to allow discrimination against same-sex couples seeking marriage services as well as block transgender people from using restrooms that match their gender identity, among many other things (the slope is slippery and is much farther-reaching than this community). Clearly, in the quest for civil rights for this community, marriage is part, marriage is not all, and it’s certainly not over. In fact, it may never be over. Ask the women about whether or not this is a post-women’s-liberation society. Ask the people of color if this is a post-racial society. Ask this community if being post-marriage-equality in Minnesota leaves us feeling comfortable…or targeted.

I’m currently reading the latest historical fiction book by Erik Larson called Dead Wake about the last Atlantic crossing of the British ocean liner RMS Lusitania, which was torpedoed and sunk by a German U-boat in 1915. (Think of the RMS Titanic being taken down by an act of war, rather than from damage after hitting an iceberg.) In the book and in his fine-tooth-comb style, Larson details the many factors that led to this tremendous loss of civilian lives. What’s slapping me in the face right now is how, before America got involved in WWI, Germany’s Kaiser Wilhelm gave the order that any submarine commander in any situation could singularly muddle through any ambiguity and attack any vessel that was deemed a threat or out of line, in that commander’s opinion.

Kaiser Wilhelm privatized acts of war. A single commander could determine, based on whatever was affecting his judgment, to obliterate whatever and whomever he saw fit.

So it is with these RFRAs. We live in a country of states. These states have people. A state which signs such a “religious freedom” bill into law is giving each private business owner the right to determine, based on whatever is affecting his or her judgment, what they will and will not do for others, according to their religious opinions and convictions. These localized, religion-based opinions get to trump our separation of Church and State, thereby allowing discrimination to be legal and acted upon by people who can consider themselves surrogates of the State. They have been empowered to fire upon ocean liners of civilians, however and whenever they see fit, in the name of religion.

For someone who majored in women’s, gender, and sexuality studies and communications studies as well as left her first day of seminary for Lutheran ministry to take this job as managing editor of this magazine, this topic sits squarely in my wheelhouse. What’s more, I’ve been studying dialectical thinking, which is the ability to view issues from multiple perspectives and come to agreeable and reconciling conclusions from seemingly contradictory points. Dialectical thinking means taking out “but” and using “and” between two things that may not be in agreement. Examples of dialectical thinking in my life include statements like I can be a person of faith and not take the Bible as the inerrant word of God; I can be a person who loves babies and believe in reproductive freedom; I can believe in the Freedom of Speech and hate every word that is spewing from hate-filled mouths; I can believe we’re working toward the same goal and I can disagree with what you say. Along these lines, Thomas Ehnert’s piece about faith and marriage in this issue (p. 16) is full of dialectical thinking that is easy for us to relate to, and is a great example of how we’re all still developing ourselves as we go. We all need encouragement.

Encouraging that “and” thinking that ties together two contradictory thoughts with acceptance doesn’t mean I have to accept what I don’t like, it just means I have to live with the fact that such a thing exists. Because that’s life. Life is dialectical. Contradictions abound. And, with greater understanding of each other and the empathy that usually follows, we can find that there are fewer actual contradictions but more nuances. And that’s what the people who are legalizing discrimination don’t get: we have to live with what we don’t like because we live in America. We live with people. This is life and it is full of things to disagree with, but and that’s how it goes. And we’d be best served as a society by trying to understand each other, rather than thinking we’re on opposing sides of a war.

What can be done?

As I write, legislators in Georgia are trying to halt their own version of a RFRA by introducing an amendment that would not allow people to use religion to get around state and local nondiscrimination protections. I’m guessing more progress will be made against these terrible things as well, but that’s a hopeful start on a legislative level. For us as citizens, it won’t be as easy as a bumper sticker or a Facebook post. We might choose to boycott Indiana, but it might not matter from here in Minnesota. But, we can make strides where we can and make numbers really count where they’re needed to backfill some empty spaces, here in our own state.

Religion will be pivotal. Religion must be kept out of government AND religion must be reclaimed by those who would still find it palatable and agreeable. The person who presented the topic of RFRAs at our journalists conference, Katherine Grainger, made a compelling case for getting involved in religion again. I’m paraphrasing from my notes, but she said: When religion rejects us, we reject religion. We give up that religious voice. In the United States, religion trumps, so when we give it up, we lose that ground. If we were to embrace a more religious narrative, we can reestablish the balance that exists in this country. By conceding the religious voice, we’ve given up who the moral vanguards are. The Religious Right claims the moral space and then excludes. By reclaiming it, we can shift it…so it’s not religious rights versus civil rights, but incorporating the two.

See? It’s dialectical. It’s religious rights and civil rights (for those of us who can expand our thinking to include the two, at any rate).

And, about those civil rights, marriage isn’t the only topic that still requires state-by-state (and hopefully national) extension of rights. In these states that might end up with RFRAs, they likely don’t have nondiscrimination laws on the books like we do in Minnesota. We need to encourage more national movement for civil rights before what’s been done is undone, state by state. As Grainger said at the conference, when we rest on our laurels, we are opening the door to undo. And we can’t have that.

So, what’s next?

Here at Lavender Media, we’re going to continue doing what we’ve been doing for the past 20 years. We’re going to continue to work for the community while we work against the people who have sought to invalidate and illegitimize this community. We will continue to do this by presenting story after story as proof of life. From our “From Minnesota, With Love” feature to our “Wedding Story” couples to our “Real Weddings” photography, this issue offers proof of real lives that validate this community and its diversity of people and choices. Proof of life is an odd analogy in that “proof of life” is what’s required in kidnaping cases, but it’s a valid one. It’s saying to the larger society around us to not give up on us. Our hearts are beating, our blood is pumping, and a skewed sense of liberty will not hold us captive.

Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

With you, with thanks, with love,

Andy

I’ve been driving for 21 years. I felt another grey hair sprout as I typed that. In my advanced years, I’ve figured out what I like and need in the vehicle I drive. What I drive is something that is more important to me than I ever would have imagined. I’m guessing it’s because I know very little about automobiles. When I don’t know much (and really don’t intend to learn about them), I need to feel safe and comfortable in my choice. A vehicle is what we trust ourselves and our people in, as well as our pets and our possessions. In Minnesota, we go from humid and hot to foggy and damp to snowy and slick within months or days. That leaves me feeling a bit more vulnerable than I like to be, I won’t lie. So, I’ve figured out what is on my list of “must haves” in a ride.

Height. As a definite indicator of my personality, I like to see what’s coming. If I’m the short vehicle behind a taller one, I get antsy and either back off quite a bit or switch lanes to get ahead; not because I need to get somewhere faster, but because I want to have the longview (cue Green Day). So, climbing up into a vehicle is more likely to suit my interests than slinking down into a low-rider. Big tires are a bonus.

4WD. I’m a single person who lives alone in Minnesota, who doesn’t plan on curbing my schedule or wanderlust just because we get a couple inches or feet of the white stuff. I need to know that I can drive out of anything, should the need arise. I know, people can tell me that front-wheel drive is reliable, but my history has gone Buick Regal, Oldsmobile Alero, Subaru Legacy (AWD), Toyota Camry, and Jeep Liberty (4WD). Nothing compares to the feeling of traction when I flip the switch from regular to 4WD. It is confidence. It is knowing that my fortress is my vehicle and it goes where I go.

Clean, classic lines. Speaking of fortresses, I love a strong, square appearance over a curvy and sleek one. The wind resistance (and fuel economy) is like driving a shoebox, but with more sport to it. I don’t want trend, I want staid. My boxy ride reminds me of the rectangular Volvo of yore as well as the Land Rovers and Cruisers that are seen out on safari. It makes me feel a bit more regimented with its square hospital corners. It might be playful, but it’s serious about it. Just like me.

Neutral exterior. While I’m out playing in the mud, I do appreciate the fact that my Jeep is the color of dust. I’ve had white, silver, blue, and black vehicles. This “stone” color is the one that is most forgiving. I ain’t got time to bleed! I certainly don’t have time to get it washed very often, especially since I don’t have covered parking and might find a sheen of mystery dust on it any given morning. Really, in the warmer months, a nice coating of dirt lends to its character (and covers some of the scratches I’ve earned while off-roading).

Access to outdoors. My ride has to be able to be outdoors and get me out there, too. It’s trail-rated, but that’s not even as important as just having the clearance to make it up the winding sandy driveway from the road to my cabin without scraping the whole way. It’s got a 3’ x 5’ ragtop roof that opens to the sky like a convertible, but with less exposure, which is perfect for my style of conservative recreation and sunburn-prone skin. I’ve gone driving on the sandy beaches of the Outer Banks in North Carolina with wild mustangs to my left and jellyfish in the ocean to my right. While I might not do that on my commute between St. Paul and Edina, I like that I would be able to, if the opportunity presents itself.

Drive proud, drive happy. Find your bliss and drive it.

With thanks,
Andy

The Spring Arts & Dining Issue is here and I am reminded yet again of how fortunate we are to live in such a creative hotbed. Repeatedly and deservedly, we win in the rankings for arts and culture in a metropolitan area; we have such talented people as well as the patrons to support them. Symbiosis is beautiful. And, being a community that tends to value such aspects of life, Lavender makes it a priority to cover the arts for our readers.

Not only will you find fairly far-reaching coverage of productions that come to our metropolitan area in the print edition of Lavender on a biweekly basis, but we also add more to our online coverage between issues. Coming out every two weeks means that we can be fairly nimble in previewing what’s about to come to our stages, but not necessarily review them when they open to the public. So, that’s why we have additional reviews on LavenderMagazine.com. What’s more, we have a whole online-only column called “5Q” in which we ask five quick questions of one of the cast members or costume designer or director or other such crucial members of a production. We learn the background of some of the actors or what to look for in the show as we’re watching it. Those articles are enough to whet the appetite and make us want to see what they’re talking about for ourselves.

So, please consider this your cordial invitation to join us online for more of what’s on stage. See you in the seats…

With thanks,
Andy

Eight years ago, as I was about to turn 30, I gave myself permission to get a dog. I went through a rescue organization and got my compact bundle of love who’d been a runner in his previous life, one who wouldn’t stay in sight when unleashed and unfenced. Now that he’s mine, he’s chipped, but he’s still labeled a “flight risk,” and forever shall be. Grendel, named after the monster in Beowulf, is my main squeeze and I plan on being his final roommate, the one who didn’t lose him to his own wanderlust.

There are many responsibilities that come with owning an animal, whether we think of them as a pet, a work partner, or a child. Our Vet Q&A with Dr. Dan Anderson (p. 39) details some of the costs of bringing home a pet, what to expect for dental hygiene, and what Lyme Disease might look like in a dog; these aspects barely scratch the surface of what it takes to have a furry perpetual dependant. Socialization and exercise must be considered (as in the Doggy Daycare piece by Joe Wrglal on p. 41) as should the source of your pet (as in the Rescue Spotlight: Feline Rescue on p. 36). But even more than that, a crucial aspect to consider before owning a pet can be as basic as where we live.

When I was deep in the search results of Petfinder.com, I sent some dog options to my brother. Being the older and wiser of the two of us, he sent me back lists of pros and cons for each dog. Should I have a Border Collie if I live in a small apartment and don’t plan to ever let the dog run and run? Is a Chow a good idea if I can’t stand the thought of hair everywhere? Will a little barky dog get me noise complaints from my neighbors? On top of those questions, I had to consider where a kennel could go, what to do if the dog had problems with indoor urination or defecation (and what a damage deposit might set me back), how easy the access was to the outdoors for all of the walks a dog requires, if there was a monthly pet rent to pay, and what size of dog would be approved by my apartment complex. All things considered, I made a great choice in my little adopted companion.

Grendel is my perfect dog. He’s small but mighty, doesn’t bark much, sheds minimally, respects his home and rarely has accidents, and was easy to train for kenneling him in a crate while I’m away from the apartment. A few years ago I was fortunate to get us into a wonderful artists loft community in St. Paul with a bunch of other dog owners and creative types in beautiful units that work well for dogs and cats, both. Our home life is maintenance-free and harmonious. The other dog owners in the community are respectful and know us; most understand that my dog is an über-terrier and tends to be persnickety around dogs that are bigger than him. We’re in a place that we love and we take our membership very seriously.

So, in this issue that is about homes, gardens, and pets, consider how all of those factors fit into your life. With Grendel came a whole lot of love and responsibility, but also some gravity. He is the force that brings me home and grounds me.

Home is where my dog is.

With thanks,
Andy

I was reading through the pieces in this issue when I became quite engrossed with Shane’s recap of Suze Orman’s financial advice for young fabulous people. I yelled over the cube wall something like, “You don’t have this book yet, do you? Because I just ordered us each a copy.” Because that’s what people who need financial help do: we pull out our Amazon app and order a few copies of a financial assistance book. Done. Problems solved.

Sure, there’s over a decade of life between my age and Shane’s, but I’m still young and fabulous at 37, according to Orman. And we listen to her. Because she’s Suze Orman. But, I’d also argue that finances is a topic where people have a definite and legitimate likelihood for having a case of arrested development. More than just a TV show with awesome quips and actors, arrested development means that we stopped maturing in an area at a certain point. So, based on where we stopped our financial development, we could be in our 30s, 40s, 50s, and older with the financial knowledge of a 20-something, but with varying outlooks and levels of optimism due to having a shorter future ahead of us.

There’s a certain amount of merit to put into the differences between generations, and plenty to disregard. The Millennials catch a lot of flak about seeming irresponsible or flighty, the Baby Boomers are going to bankrupt us, and the Gen Xers are still suspicious of everything, probably wishing we were all still chain-smoking. I can’t predict the future, but I do know that not having our financial ducks in a row doesn’t do any generation any favors. Being part of the later end of Gen X, and having been jobless during my career arc, I know what it’s like to cash out a 401K to use it for living expenses. Many of us who’ve been jobless, no matter which generation, are likely always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and rarely feel optimism…let alone financial optimism. So, the ability to not only be financially solvent from day to day, but also put away for the future again, is not one that I take lightly, or have fully realized, yet.

If you would have told me back when I was flagrantly spending money just after college that I’d someday take great pride in charitable giving and setting aside money for my future, I would’ve assumed that I had somehow married rich. But, those of us who are single particularly need to pay attention to what our golden years will entail because, even if we want to, we won’t be able to work and draw income forever. We need to be our own versions of marrying rich. Enough of the willful ignorance. That I’ll be healthy and able to draw an income for a job well done forever is delusional. Luckily, any start is a good start in financial planning. There is no damning “too late.” Reading the pieces in this issue about what kids mean to our pocketbooks, estate planning, and the effects of illness, really have me converted to the belief that I need to take what Shane and Suze are saying to heart and can build my own dang financial future.

It’s going to take some time and effort and money, but it’s like working toward anything else we want in life.  And it, of all things, will be worth it.

With you and with thanks,
Andy